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Joke of the Day

"Can everyone please stop making political posts? You're never going to be able to make anything funnier than reality."

"""I'm sorry I could never do that for you,"" said the cat sulking away after catching me on the internet looking at pics of cats in space."

"My sister was injured in a horrific singing accident. ""Oh no, is Carrey OK?"""

"What does an Indian man get when he works out? Sikh gains. I made this up too! Although this joke has probably been said before"

"Ghostbusters (1984): A large, jovial marshmallow sailor is burned alive amid the crossfire btwn humans and ethereal beings."

"My ex said that relationships were about sacrifice. But she still screamed when she saw the bloody goat on the altar."

"How much pussy does a Monk get? Nun"

"How is Valve like Uranium-238? By the time they get to the third Half Life 13.5 Billion years will have passed."

"*desperately tries to get screaming newborn daughter latched onto my nipple* hmmmm. she must not realize I'm a feminist"

"Smoking studies done on monkeys have shown that compared to the non smoking group, the smoking group looks significantly cooler."