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Joke of the Day

"A horse-drawn carriage sounds really romantic until you realize horses can't even hold a pen and the carriage just looks like a scribble."

"To the woman with the screaming kids in Walmart: If you're wondering how the condoms got in your cart....You're welcome"

"*licks ice cream cone Cone: I have a boyfriend."

"Kindergarten reunion??!?!?! I've gained like 100 pounds since then. No way I'm showing up!!!!"

"A sheep, Don Trump and a snake all fall off a ledge Baa Dumb Tiss!"

"Got asked to help unlock a PDF file today... I said no way, we should be concentrating on locking them up!"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan."

"I used to date a chick liked it when I made her angry while we were in bed. She was into hardcore scorn."

"In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face."

"I own a gun so if a robber breaks into my home and steals my stuff I can shoot all my stuff and break it so the robber can't enjoy any of it"