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Joke of the Day

"Diplomacy is saying ""nice doggy"" until you find a big rock."

"How do you prove human beings are inherently curious?"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run - ORIGAMI not for everyone !"

"God damn it! I said ""glass of juice"" not ""gas the jews"". -Hitler"

"""I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the fuck?"""

"-Balderdash! -Codswallop! -Tommyrot! -Poppycock! Victorian Era YouTube comments"

"What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon? The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from [yesterday's SMBC](http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3180)."

"I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please."

"I would tell you a leech joke. . . But it would suck anyway"