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Joke of the Day

"Everyone knows that 1 person who never laughs...I'm drawn to them like a moth to a flame, just to make their lives a living hell"

"A good comedian is like a good dictatorship. Consistent in their execution."

"What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded ? Bring on their subs !"

"Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it."

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a trashcan full of dead hookers? I don't have a Porsche in my garage."

"Two scientists walk into a bar. One asks for H2O, and the other asks for H2O too. They both die because the bar was in Flint, Michigan"

"Being alone with my girlfriend on Easter. ""Jesus has risen . . . and so have I."""

"Why did the woman fall into the well? She couldn't see that well."

"I'm getting engaged next month. Not because I'm in love but because it's gonna look dope on Instagram."

"Before calling me, ask yourself, ""Is this textable?"""