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Joke of the Day

"Two scientists walk into a bar. One asks for H2O, and the other asks for H2O too. They both die because the bar was in Flint, Michigan"

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"Your mother is so ugly, that if she were the only girl in Texas... ...the Lone Ranger would be lonely for a loooooooooooooooong time"
"Obamacare."
"Bought a Muslim sex doll today It blows itself up."
"I am all for self-belief, self-worth, self-esteem but a woman declaring herself hot and complementing herself on her own beauty smacks of serious desperation, delusion and self-conceit."
"I like to lie down on the top of a hill, then tumble down to the bottom. That's just the way I roll."
"FRIEND. My daughter just hates her job ME: My dogter loves hers F: You mean dau.. ME: *shows her a pic of a puppy in scrubs* She's a dogtor"
"I flashed my BIOS... ... and got arrested for indecent exposure."
"If I had a dime for every nickel I had I would have three cents"
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to place bets on how long this marriage will last because these idiots met 2 months ago."
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