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Joke of the Day

"The guy who proofread Hitler's speaches was literally a grammar Nazi."

"Why do they call it Black Friday? I dunno, I'm just waiting to hear white people ask how come there's no White Friday."

"What did the man do after being found guilty of sabotaging the moonmission? He Apollo-gized."

"All conspiracy theories are false. They're cooked up by the government to distract people from what they're doing."

"What do a call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence."

"You know you're single when the only calls you get at night are Nature's."

"maybe if we start calling abortions ""debortations"" republicans will support them?"

"Michael Phelps will be the flag bearer for the 2016 USA Olympic Team I hope he holds our flag high."

"I normally don't drink, but last time I did I woke up next to my grandmother I still don't know how I got 6 feet under ground."

"Send a text to your SO exactly this in commas ""You effect me"" (read comments after you have done so 1st) SO: Don't you mean ""affect?"" You: Yeah i forgot the A-Hole. Sincerely, JM"