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Joke of the Day

"Send a text to your SO exactly this in commas ""You effect me"" (read comments after you have done so 1st) SO: Don't you mean ""affect?"" You: Yeah i forgot the A-Hole. Sincerely, JM"

"What is this the difference between America and Greece? 15 years."

"How did Hitler tie his shoelaces? In cute little knotsies!"

"Why are there 2 doors on a chicken coupe? Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan"

"Chicken pot pie. My three favourite things."

"I've got a black eye, a $200 fine and I've been listed on a register...turns out taking candy from a baby wasn't so easy after all."

"if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument"

"I got fired today, because during my lunch break, I went to the men's room and blew chunks. Chunks is our forklift driver, I should admit."

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"

"What do you give a canine seeking meaningless validation on the internet? Pupvotes"