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Joke of the Day

"What language do eagles program in? [C#](https://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3tp03o/in_canada_we_have_some_nice_falcons/cx8608n)"

"This year for Christmas you are getting jeans with the pockets cut out. So you can have clothes and something to play with."

"Wife jokes... Why do brides wear white on the wedding day? Because all appliances come in white. Why don't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on the stove."

"I wonder how smart I'd be if my brain were as good at remembering anything as it is at remembering every humiliating thing I've ever done"

"There are two good reasons never to drink water from the toilet. No 1 and No 2s!"

"Why couldn't the sailors play cards? Because the Captain was stood on the deck!"

"why did the wife of the fish and chips fetishist file for divorce? she was sick of being a battered woman"

"EVERY SENTIENT & NON-SENTIENT CONGLOMERATION OF MOLECULES ON THIS EARTH HAS A BF. WTF."

"Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat? Not because he was in to bestiality, you Islamophobe. He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday"

"Doc said I need to change my diet... He said I need to eat more caviar and drink more champagne. I said, ""Doc, that's crazy! What's this diet called?"" He said, ""it's a High Fluten diet."""