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Joke of the Day

"EVERY SENTIENT & NON-SENTIENT CONGLOMERATION OF MOLECULES ON THIS EARTH HAS A BF. WTF."

"Spider-Man, hanging right in front of your face when you turn on the bathroom light."

"My brother told me I have the body of a god. Buddha!"

"What do you call a strange Mexican man who owns a chocolate factory? Willy Juanka."

"When a CW is coming out of the men's room as I walk past, I always ask if everything went well because that's the polite thing to do."

"How do you make five pounds of fat attractive? You put a nipple on it."

"The Columbine basketball team hasn't been the same... Since they lost their two best shooters"

"[wife comes home from work] ""why havent you done any of the things i asked you to"" [the dog walks past dressed as a policeman] ive been busy"

"What do you call a cashew in space? An astronut."

"Me: ""Can I buy you a drink?"" Her: ""I have a boyfriend."" Me to barman: ""A beer for me and a 'I have a boyfriend' for the lady."""