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Joke of the Day

"There are two good reasons never to drink water from the toilet. No 1 and No 2s!"

"Why can't Asian couples have a caucasian child? Because two wongs don't make a white."

"SB50 Panthers and Broncos coin toss Hillary won the coin toss"

"Me: I like my coffee like I like my ex-wives. My buddy (rolling his eyes): Hot and black? Me: Bitter."

"So its pancake Tuesday today That surely crepe'd up on us"

"My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors."

"When a teacher closes his eyes why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!"

"[finally rich enough to go to a tailor] ""How can I help you sir?"" One clothes please!"

"Why do astronauts bring their phone into space? Because they can get 4g"

"Why did the hipster fail chemistry? He thought the bond was ironic."