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Joke of the Day

"What happened when the gay guy put a nicoderm patch on his wiener? He cut down to two butts a day"

"What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party? Go on, have a blast."

"The more fanciful embroidery you have on the back pockets of your jeans, the less I value you as a person."

"Tried to catch fog yesterday... Mist."

"Why did the English majors switch to Spanish? (OC) Too many persuasive esses."

"I wrote a haiku about admins and mods [removed] [deleted] [removed] [deleted] [removed] [deleted] [removed]"

"It would be funny if, with everyone freaking out about global warming we ended up dying in a good old 60s throwback nuclear war with Russia."

"I once lip locked the soft ice dispenser at Dairy Queen until the manager had to hit me with a mop. So I know a little bit about rejection."

"Met with a girl on tinder, Turns out her eyes were on her elbows instead of her face. She looked different than I thought she would."

"What illness causes breasts to grow all over your body? Heap-a-tities."