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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a compliment & he'll be all, ""Yeah, I've been working out."" Teach a man to fish for a compliment & he'll be all, ""I feel SO fat."""

"What's Hitler's favorite video game? Mein Kraft"

"Turns out the most difficult stain to remove from bed linens is actually shame."

"She blinded me with Science. Okay, it was pepper spray."

"Dirty fetish one liner The hardest part of being into double penetration, is that you have to get two people into it."

"I just invented this new word! Plagiarism."

"I'm at that age where food makes me fat."

"Have you heard of nihilism? Its kind of a Nietzsche philosophy."

"Me:*looks up from phone* Okay, it was Mr. Plum in the ballroom with the wrench. Family: M: Mom: We stopped playing that game 5 hours ago."

"What book do you like the most? Woman: ""My husband's checkbook."""