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Joke of the Day

"What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party? Go on, have a blast."

"Teacher to Student Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when I am here. What sentence seemingly appropriate makes you burst into laughter?"

"A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills."

"Asked my 1st grade students the riddle: What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive? (A glove.) First response: ""My Aunt Lydia."""

"What do Sea Monsters eat? Fish and Ships."

"If I had a nickel for every time I jerked off... I'd be a jizzillionaire!"

"1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don't admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening."

"So a blind girl was giving me a hand job last night... She said I was the biggest she's ever felt, I said ""Nah girl, you're just pulling my leg."""

"A guy walks into a grocery store... And buys groceries."

"Why do Mexicans only cross the border in pairs? Because it says no TRESpassing."