128055

Joke of the Day

"It would be funny if, with everyone freaking out about global warming we ended up dying in a good old 60s throwback nuclear war with Russia."

"What's the difference between a frog and a cat? A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night."

"The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow... I called her up and asked, ''Did you get my drift?''"

"Did you hear that Alexander Graham Bell got fired from the theatre? He was always phoning it in."

"Why should you never hit people with violins?? Because violins is not the answer..."

"Q. How did a blind woman drive herself crazy? A. Trying to read a stucco wall."

"Whats better than winning gold in the Paralympics Walking"

"What would be the worst possible thing to see on Reddit after losing your family in a car crash? [removed] (two children)"

"TIL that during WWII 3 U.S. submarines sank due to friendly fire. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I'm not saying the wife's a bit rough but you can see all the blokes on the beach dressing her with their eyes."