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Joke of the Day

"What illness causes breasts to grow all over your body? Heap-a-tities."

"FBI: I can't unlock my phone Genius: is that a fake mustache over your mustache? FBI into earpiece: Operation Twostache has been compromised"

"Did you guys hear the one-liner about the Monorail?"

"What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants? ""ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"""

"Why did the Jedi take his MIDI controller into the pool. He wanted to increase his MIDI chlorine count?"

"If a picture frame doesn't have the word ""memories"" written on it in giant cursive letters, how do I know what I'm looking at?!"

"Me: Do you want anything from Chipotle? CW: Yeah....just surprise me. Me: *comes back with no food* SURPRISE!"

"9/11 Americans Won't get this joke"

"A Jewish boy asks his father for $50... The dad replies ""40 dollars!?! What do you need 30 dollars for?!"""

"What do you call an elephant with a poor memory? A bold and innovative departure from the hackneyed stereotypes that all too often dominate the joke-telling industry."