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Joke of the Day

"What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia? ""M'otherland"""

"Do you know the meaning ""Happy wife, happy life""? I tend to go with ""Happy wife, extended life."""

"What's the difference between a politician and a comedian? People care when a comedian speaks."

"I'm sure my girlfriend's frigid Every time she opens her legs a light comes on."

"A guy on the bus asked me if I had any Sodium Hypobromite... I said NaBrO."

"So Microsoft bought skype for millions of dollars Idiots didn't know skype's free."

"What's the most messed up trap for Santa? A Nicolas Cage."

"Give me a compliment? Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed? Because he is lying."

"20 yrs from now they'll make a movie on how Leonardo DeCaprio never won an Oscar. Plot twist the actor playing him wins an Oscar."