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Joke of the Day

"A guy on the bus asked me if I had any Sodium Hypobromite... I said NaBrO."

"If a blonde and a brunette were tossed off a building together, who would hit the ground first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions."

"How did Napoleon eat his chicken? HE PULLED THE BONESAPART! Lol and a rock for yuhhhhh!"

"Have I ever taught you South american Judo? Judo know if I have a knife, Judo know if I got a gun."

"TIL that the famous teacher Anne Sullivan once accidentally taught the wrong class after the legitimate teacher couldn't make it and the alternate teacher was late. Whoops, wrong sub."

"GF (from 2nd floor window): either the trampoline goes or I go! ME: It ... was ... nice ... knowing ... you"

"Today I had sex with a girl in an apple orchard... And came in cider. Source: Bo Burnham. So goddamn funny."

"I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero."

"Why do herb pickers have so many hobbies? They've got a lot of thyme on their hands"

"It's good to keep healthy. My gran started walking 10 miles a day when she was 50... ...she's 80 now, and we don't know where the hell she is."