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Joke of the Day

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked"

"What do you call a stupid beer? Daft!"

"Anybody else always feel at least a little panic when their 6 says he ""really needs scissors, like right now!""?"

"They cloned a man without his permission. Was he angry? He was just beside himself."

"How do they say ""fuck you"" in Los Angeles? Trust me."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar... The bartender asks ""Want something to drink?"". Decartes replies ""I think not"", and disappears."

"Should I have a baby after 35? No 35 children is enough."

"What did the egg say to the boiler water? It might take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid last night."

"i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented i forgot where i was going with this"

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'"