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Joke of the Day

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar... The bartender asks ""Want something to drink?"". Decartes replies ""I think not"", and disappears."

"What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail? Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world."

"I'm quitting drinking for good. Now I drink for evil."

"Welcome to twitter, where nobody uses their right to remain silent."

"Who was the last person to have sex with Marilyn Monroe? Thomas Noguchi"

"Allow me to translate: when NPR says ""hip hop culture,"" they're talking about black people."

"R.I.P. Prince We have truly lost a symbol."

"Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don't have them, you cry about it."

"Your mom is like a chicken coop... Cocks fly in and out all day!"

"We gave our children old-fashioned names... Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley"