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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'"

"Mountains aren't just funny... They're hill areas."

"crisis in the morning, crisis in the evening, crisis at suppertime. in an indifferent universe, you can have an existential crisis anytime!"

"Why are all of the accountants supporting Hillary Clinton? They want to save 20%."

"What did the programmer from the biker gang say? ""It ain't gonna be soft where my engine nearing!"""

"What religious group does reddit belong in? Cat holics"

"Happy Teacher's day, Wikipedia."

"Two atoms are walking down the street... The first atom says ""hey, you just stole my electron!"" The second atom says ""are you sure?"" The first atom says "" yes, i'm positive."""

"No need to write it down, I've a photographic memory *looks hard af* *pukes polaroid*"

"The bartender fainted."