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Joke of the Day

"[making small talk at a business function] ""You're 35 aren't you?"" ""No, I'm 38"" ""Oh right"" [long silence] ""Did you used to be 35?"""

"What is the difference between a default subreddit mod and a radical feminist? Nothing."

"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women [FIXED] Turns out they're way harder to pick up than I thought."

"Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"I'm such a film buff I can always tell when a fake dinosaur is used in a movie."

"Revenge is a dish best served with a laxative that looks like chocolate."

"What do you get when you cross an oven with a car? A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth."

"Have you ever heard of the exhausted frog? He was out of bounds"

"I only drink on special occasions... Luckily for me, I just broke my record for consecutive days alive today"

"Mosquito's are like dirty used needles, that can fly."