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Joke of the Day

"[making small talk at a business function] ""You're 35 aren't you?"" ""No, I'm 38"" ""Oh right"" [long silence] ""Did you used to be 35?"""

"What do you call 4 Mexicans in a sinkhole? Quatro Sinco"

"""Can we have 'Punctuation Sex' tonight?"" I asked the wife. ""What do you mean, 'Punctuation Sex?"" she queried. ""It's where I put my semi in your colon ..."""

"I can't take movies seriously if the main characters aren't stopping to Instagram their meals and Tweet out the chase scenes."

"Saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other today. Gives me hope for the future. Or another Rush Hour movie."

"What happened to the dinosaurs that first was aware of the metheorite? The where petrified."

"I didn't realize how religious the Japanese are. Always asking me if I have a pray station at home."

"What kind of bees make milk? boo-bees (boobies)"

"I know a lot of clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads."

"What do you call a gay guy paralyzed from the neck down? A Tomato (because he's both a fruit AND a vegetable)"