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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an oven with a car? A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth."

"My home phone rang. Weird."

"Well well well if it isn't the kangaroo whose pouch I'm in."

"My dad told me if I kept jacking off I'd go blind. I said dad, I'm over here"

"Garfield creator breaks silence to give impassioned speech. ""It's pronounced Jarfield"" he says through tears"

"Why the Japanese kill fish? because Chinese eat fish and Koreans selfish"

"Behind every entitled shit-head kid is a parent who cuts the crusts off their sandwiches."

"Me: Why is gay marriage such an issue now-a-days? Friend: Because people are FUCKING ASSHOLES! This can be taken in two ways and both are correct."

"If you think about it, malls are really just bazaar."

"What dog always gets on everyone's nerves? A great pane!"