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Joke of the Day
"Why can't Jim's make sandwiches? Cause it was at my grannies, isn't it!!!"
Next Joke
"Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub (2) I'm banned from Subway"
"I hope the next Adam Sandler movie has a wacky grandpa who uses ""bae"" all the time so you guys will stop thinking its funny"
"I bought my epileptic boyfriend a strobe light for his birthday. He's gonna have a fit when he sees it."
"Did you hear about the earthquake? There was a fault in Washington. It was Obama's!"
"Anybody hear about what happened when Nietzche died? Oh, well I guess it doesn't really matter anyway..."
"Listen guys, if a 5yo comes up to you and asks if it's true that zombies won't eat kids who eat their broccoli, BACK ME UP, DAMN IT."
"I sing in the shower. I think I sound pretty good. The other people in the gym don't agree."
"Chumlee was arrested for sexual assault, drugs, and guns. Do you think Rick will go to the court and haggle down his sentence?"
"Dirty thoughts... the life of a gardener."