62096

Joke of the Day

"The only times I go for a jog is when there's a cute guy in front of me or a creepy guy behind me."

"*Fakes Phone Call* ""Yes a thousand doves please....well give me pigeons and i can paint them white"" (cups hand over phone) ""I plan weddings"""

"If you like Christmas so much why don't you merry it?"

"You can't spell 'jew' without the word 'ew'."

"I can wake up at random intervals, crying and hungry too, so fuck you babies."

"Knock Knock. Who's rhere?. 9/11. 9/11 Who? You said you would never forget."

"Grammar Nazi vs. Hitler Soldier:""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores."" Hitler:""So mine less!"" [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes?"""

"Why are gay people always confused? It's because they are not thinking straight."

"Like I was telling my friends, my wife walked into a door. and that pissed me off so I hit her."

"When does a fuckboy become a fuckman? At his bar mitzfuck."