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Joke of the Day

"Grammar Nazi vs. Hitler Soldier:""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores."" Hitler:""So mine less!"" [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes?"""

"What do you call a half native pirate? Metis"

"The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host What happened? He turned out to be a big boar."

"CASHIER: ""Did you find everything you were looking for?"" ME: ""Oh, yes..."" [places ""How To Murder A Cashier"" book on counter]"

"It's hard to hate the Devil when he makes such delicious cakes."

"[Friday Night] WIFE: Have fun at poker ME {stopping at door}: What did you say? W: Have fun ME: After that W: Uh...at poker- ME: IT'S POKEMON"

"What did Santa Claus say when Mrs. Claus asked him for the weather? It's rain, dear!"

"""Captain, have you ever made love at sea?"" ""No son, but I've been blown ashore many a time."""

"BAD: When your date has been in the Men's Room for 45 mins. WORSE: When the 6 yo girl at the table next to you says ""he's not coming back"""

"A guy walks into a bar.... ...holding a set of jumper cables and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says ""okay, I'll serve you, but don't you start anything!"""