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Joke of the Day

"Like I was telling my friends, my wife walked into a door. and that pissed me off so I hit her."

"I hired a pizza chef as my new golf coach. One way or another the dude is gonna fix my slice."

"I went running today but came back after 5 minutes because I forgot something I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes."

"is thinking that with their track record, buying condoms at a BP station is just taking too big a risk!"

"I don't believe in Bigfoot; because he never believed in me. I'd scan the crowd at my ballet recitals, and always see that one empty seat."

"Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp? Because he was a cagey bee agent."

"I hate looking for a job almost as much I hate not having a job almost as much as I hate working. It's complicated."

"I went to a new zoo that has opened up in my area yesterday. Wasn't really worth it, they had one animal and it was a dog. Turns out it was a Shih Tzu."

"To everyone who ever doubted me, all I have to say to you is...lucky guess."

"Thanksgiving joke What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky! Just kidding... Drugs. She eats drugs. -Adam Zopf @adamzopf"