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Joke of the Day

"what's the difference between an elephant and a sicilian grandmother? the black dress"

"What is Rickon Stark's favourite band? One Direction"

"The subject line starts ""Fwd: Re: Fwd: RE: RE: Re: "", so there's no way this isn't a complete waste of time."

"Guy comes home with a flower bouquet... ""Guess I'll have to spread my legs now"", says the wife. ""Why? Don't you have a vase?"" the husband replies."

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A tomato"

"TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy... for boarding the wrong vessel... just once Whoops, wrong *sub*."

"Way to bring me down, security questions. Dad's birthday? First pet? What's next? Gonna ask about Marco Black rejecting me in 2nd grade?"

"My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn't notice when I haven't moved my mouse in an hour."

"If someone on this sub discovers a new type of rock they should name it something funny. Amirite?"

"GIVE ME FUEL GIVE ME FIRE GIVE ME MILK THAT'S NOT EXPIRED"