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Joke of the Day

"My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn't notice when I haven't moved my mouse in an hour."

"If you spell race car backwards... You get what Honda owners wish they had."

"With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail about how I'm not allowed at the company family picnic any more!"

"What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it? It chips."

"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like shit until you have something someone else needs"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl taking a whiz? Because the P is silent!"

"Is this subreddit dying? Nobody's posted anything all year."

"NEVER date someone that works for your cell phone provider. You're welcome."

"I called work and told them I have Anal Glaucoma... Just couldn't see my ass coming in today."

"Happy Ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters! This month, lunch is on me."