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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A tomato"

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"""I find pleasure in the little things""... ...Said the pedofile to the court."
"What kind of moron invented the fire blanket Surely fire is warm enough already?"
"I wanted to grill something good for watching today's horse race But my butcher didn't have any Belmont steaks"
"Why can't I pay pay your mom for sex with my credit card? Because there's a minimum charge of 5 dollars."
"What do you call a hockey line with Connor McDavid, Taylor Hall, and Nail Yakupov? The Lottery Line"
"Golfer: ""I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."" Caddy: ""Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."""
"How do you know if an introvert likes you when you're talking to them? They'll stare at your shoes instead of theirs."
"[Jesus goes over the bill at the last supper] ""Why would-[closes eyes & rubs bridge of nose]-Why would anyone order wine?"""
"If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets. I'd hate to toot my own horn"