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Joke of the Day

"If someone on this sub discovers a new type of rock they should name it something funny. Amirite?"

"Popular joke in Ukraine ""Driver of a Russian humanitarian aid truck was beaten by Russian soldiers when tried to light a cigarette near cans with beef stew."""

"Did you hear about the mathematician who got out of jail? He's trying to integrate back into society, but you can still kinda differentiate him from others."

"What do Shakespearian Buddhists eat for breakfast? Om and cheese Hamlets."

"""Excuse the mess; we had guests,"" I graciously explain, leaving out the ""five months ago"" part."

"Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice."

"They say 75% of all Americans live next to a pedophile. Not me.... I live next door to a hot 10 year old girl."

"DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? I do take the lift sir."

"A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him."

"Girlfriend's mascara died and I gave it a funeral, you know what they say... Lashes to lashes and dust to dust."