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Joke of the Day

"My friend was knocked down and killed by a speeding truck full of designer Versace dresses The police said he was a fashion victim"

"Q: You can sleep on it, brush your teeth with it and sit on it, what is it? A: A bed, a tooth brush, and a chair."

"The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit."

"Encyclopedias are just ghetto Google."

"-You talkin to my girl? *pops knuckles* -What if I am? *cracks neck* *dislocates shoulder* *breaks collarbone* *fractures skull*"

"Why do all kids with down syndrome look like they came from the same father? And the shuttle to hell is boarding if anyone cares to join me...."

"Q: What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog? A: Out, out, damned Spot!"

"Wearing high heels and releasing doves at weddings are so last century. I'll be wearing running shoes and releasing chickens at mine"

"Sometimes I just like to sit on the couch and do nothing for 3 years."

"What do you call a compliant volcano? A volcayes."