60944

Joke of the Day

"My favorite part of a marathon is... My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka."

"How do you know when your vegetables are boiled? Their wheelchair floats to the top."

"According to serving sizes tonight, I'm a family of 4."

"The Zika virus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about."

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy... ... but some times I just let her sleep."

"why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? because he was far out."

"Why don't witches wear underpants? To get a better grip on the broom"

"If homework goes too easy you are doing it wrong."

"I remember when the M in MTV stood for Music not Maternity."

"I went to an AA meeting I met a lot of batteries"