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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks"

"Windows: ""You may be the victim of software counterfeiting"" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I"

"A photon walks into a hotel The bell boy walks up and asks, ""Do you have any luggage?"". ""No,"" says the photon, ""I'm traveling light."""

"What's the difference between friends and potatoes? Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water."

"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked."

"When does a fuckboy become a fuckman? At his bar mitzfuck."

"I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? Because it had a bad driver! drops mic"

"Confucius say: Woman who keep husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse."

"When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts."

"Apparently, I snore really loudly... ...loud enough to terrify everyone in the car I'm driving!"