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Joke of the Day

"A photon walks into a hotel The bell boy walks up and asks, ""Do you have any luggage?"". ""No,"" says the photon, ""I'm traveling light."""

"Why is Windows 10 like a moody teenager? Because nobody gets it."

"When is my wifes favorite day for sex? Tomorrow"

"What's a pedo's favorite kind of shoe? White vans"

"LPT: If you need to remove your contact lenses after touching spicy peppers (Ghost, etc.) Leave the contacts in. I don't recommend going to the bathroom either."

"""THEN HE GOES BACK IN TIME AND THE DOGGIE IS SAD AND ICE CREAM."" --My 3 year-old, telling a more coherent story than LOST."

"Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? Because it was a noble gas"

"If you have 3 tweets in a row that say what you're cooking, what song you're listening to, and what your mood is... just go back to Facebook."

"Properly relocating a cavewoman Q: Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair? A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt."

"Why did God make women last? He didn't want someone telling him what to do"