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Joke of the Day

"When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts."

"Jesus came to me in a dream and asked me ""do you know how much I love you?"" ""This much"" he said and he spread his arms and died."

"Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on."

"What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !"

"What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out."

"I wanted to build a camp for kids with ADD. But I got shut down for calling it a concentration camp."

"Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs middle finger."

"You can make jokes about anything; just not Mexicans. That's crossing the border."

"I just got carded at Forever 21. This is bullshit!"

"WAITER: How is everything? ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt"