58092

Joke of the Day

"Heavy metal is not intimidating to me because half of the time it's just the plot of Lord Of The Rings yelled over guitar solos."

"I know exactly where I stand on the controversial issue of female on male rape. In the corner, with a video camera."

"The best things in life are free. Who let them out?! I PAID GOOD MONEY TO IMPRISON THEM"

"""Wife stabs husband with squirrel"" was on the news.. Does anyone know how to sharpen a Squirrel?"

"Say what you will about prostitutes... ...those guys are fucking professionals."

"What do you call a bunch of cats sitting in a circle? The purr-rimiter."

"1 in 5 American children are now on food stamps which is why we must cut food stamps to reduce their dependency on food."

"What did Nicki Minaj, Hitler and a Feminist say when they walked into a bar? Ouch."

"""Women are crazy!"" ""Did one try to murder you unprovoked?"" ""No I just disappeared from her life with no notice & she went all PSYCHO on me."""

"I get a new phone every year just so my friends don't think I'm lying when I tell them I've lost their number Avoidance is expensive"