6269

Joke of the Day

"The best things in life are free. Who let them out?! I PAID GOOD MONEY TO IMPRISON THEM"

"Grammar is super important.. Because I don't want to be the mayor of fucking Austria. I want to be the mayor of [Fucking, Austria.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria)"

"See ya later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. Catch ya manana, little iguana."

"MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED"

"I renamed my dad ""Death"" in my phone's contacts. Just so I remember that life can always get worse."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?"

"My jewish co-worker told me this one What did the pedophile jew tell the kid? ""wanna buy candy?"""

"Dreamers dream. Livers detoxify."

"Whats the difference between white people and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop its own cultures without having to resort to stealing others."

"Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor? The doctor said it was all in her head"