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Joke of the Day

"If you have to wait a while to get a fast food order, say, ""I thought this was FAST food."" The place will never recover from that mega burn"

"I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat."

"[i sweetly pet a wild baby deer in my lap] aww this is so boring"

"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None......he ""fell"""

"Boss rips employees balls with a hook for being late to work. He was giving him the sack."

"Q: What do you call a fish with three eyes? A: Fiiish."

"OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY BOSS: I don't know you. Do you work here? ME: *sips wine* No. HIM: So your wife does? ME: *sips his wine* Again no."

"Two parrots are sitting on a Perch One says to the other ""Can you smell fish?"""

"Approximately how many cows does it take to stock a grocery store with beef? Most of them won't even show up to work, but if you can get them there, two should be able to handle the job."

"When people ask how I got the latest movies on my computer.. I respond by telling them my lovely bay with hella booty gives them to me.arggg"