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Joke of the Day

"I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat."

"noah's google search history: ""wat is arc"" ""why would god want circle segment"" ""arc or ark"" ""how many animals"" ""5,000,000 x 2"" ""is god real"""

"I recently won the local innuendo competition after coming from behind."

"My Dr. just diagnosed me as 'paranoid'! Well, she didn't say that, but I know the bitch was thinking it!"

"Wife: Your PMS jokes aren't funny. Me: I can't help it, they just flow out of my mouth. Wife: ... Me: Fine. No more. Period. Wife: *eyeroll*"

"*playing Mortal Kombat* Her: Can I try? Me: Sure. Her: Which one of them shoots that Handookie thingie? Me: Hadouken? Her: Yea. Me: Leave."

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime."

"Men are like computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory."

"Limits Of Technology A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created"