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Joke of the Day

"Are you a can of mountain dew? Cause I'd mountain dew you."

"Germans are always so quick to fix your mistakes when you trying to speak German. It's as if the whole German nation is on Otto correct."

"Facebook taught me to mind everyone else's business."

"My facial hair is Italian and native American It's Apache"

"Me: Diets suck. Why I gotta do it too? Her: No I in team Me: Isn't 1 in diet either. Her: Yes there.. Me: I'm too hungry for your mindgames!"

"Wife : don't forget to pick up the kids at the school Me : why"

"Have you heard the joke that they don't tell assholes? Oh, no? Nevermind then."

"What do you call cow without a girlfriend? Beef Stroken off"

"What did the gay atheist shout after Noah threw him off the ark for being a gay atheist? Help! I'm thinking!"

"Was talking to a friend about taking many baths a day. ""There's no harm in taking baths repeatedly unless you are soap."""