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Joke of the Day

"What did the gay atheist shout after Noah threw him off the ark for being a gay atheist? Help! I'm thinking!"

"N.W.A. writes a song called Fuck the Police and everybody loves it. I write a song called Fuck the Firemen and apparently I'm just an asshole."

"People who use that snobby pronunciation of ""vase"" make me want to punch them in the foz."

"""What's up?"" asked the guy with literally no sense of direction."

"What do you call a midget party? ...a little get-together."

"Why doesn't anyone put the whole football on their mouth like a pelican and pretend they don't have it"

"You can't run through a campground... you can only ran, because it's past tents."

"I saved time doing yard work by renaming the weeds ""plants"""

"I want Ebola... cereal"

"What did zero say to eight? Nice belt."