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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the joke that they don't tell assholes? Oh, no? Nevermind then."

"What causes the bird on a pirate's shoulder to repeat 'pieces of nine, pieces of seven, pieces of nine....'? Parity error."

"What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Doyouthinkhesawus. What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes Dontthinkhesawus."

"Why can't Helen Keller Drive? She's dead."

"I figure I must be Bi-sexual. I have sex twice a year."

"The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph. Which, unfortunately, makes it illegal to ejaculate in a school zone when children are present."

"Why was 6 afraid of 9? Because 9 was still alive."

"I wish it was my job to sit around laughing at statuses all day. Actually, he is unaware, but that's what my boss is paying me to do anyway."

"Why didn't the feminist picnic work out? because they all refused to make sandwiches."

"User interface? I hardly even know her!"