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Joke of the Day

"I hear Bristol Palin is pregnant again... Ever since Trig was born, she's been Down to fuck."

"[Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*"

"Probably the worst thing about dying a virgin would be all the dead terrorists that are waiting for you."

"They should really replace, ""I now pronounce you man and wife"" with ""FINISH HIM!!"""

"The only B word you should call a girl is Beautiful Bitches love to be called Beautiful"

"I heard it was medically impossible for a quack doctor to make me straight But my chiropractor managed to realign my spine. He was kinda cute too."

"Why were Helen Keller's hands purple... ... because she heard it through the grape vine."

"Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator? He didn't want to see the salad dressing."

"A wife went with her husband to his doctors appointment... Doctor: I'm gonna need a urine and stool sample. Wife (to husband): Just give him your underwear honey!!!"

"Hey rappers on twitter, saying ""LOL"" in every tweet is about as gangster as two dolphins sitting on a rainbow tongue kissing"