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Joke of the Day

"If the car behind me honks while waiting for my parking space at the mall, I turn off my car and visibly start a rubik's cube."

"What's the difference between dreams and memes? I haven't given up on my memes yet"

"Camp Woodland was across the road from a dairy farm. One day the kids saw a large bull. 'Is that bull safe?' someone asked the farmer. 'Safer than you are!' was his answer."

"I overdosed on Viagra once. It was the hardest day of my life."

"Why do people hit things (ex. TV, computer, etc.) when they don't work? Well, it worked with the slaves."

"So a silver mine collapsed in Germany... So a silver mine collapsed in Germany, I guess you could say that's one mein fuhrer. I don't know if that exists or not, but as far as I know, I made that up."

"What Did the Upvote whore say to the Redditor? I'll suck yo dick for a Upvote"

"Know how I know I am getting laid tonight...? Because I am stronger than you."

"My wife said I never do anything for her so I packed her bags and put them outside."

"TIL that the FDA has recommended a permanent ban on all shredded cheeses be put in place immediately. It's part of an official federal plan to make America grate again."