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Joke of the Day

"I heard it was medically impossible for a quack doctor to make me straight But my chiropractor managed to realign my spine. He was kinda cute too."

"I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10."

"Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning."

"There is absolutely nothing funnier than yelling ""HE'S STEALING MY BABY!"" at a dad having a hard time with his kid in public."

"""Love me or hate me, both are in my favor...If u love me, I'll always be in your heart...If u hate me, I'll always be in your mind"" -Shakespeare"

"Chinese girls number I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"What do I get when u heat up sour cream? Just cream, it's not sour. -told me to by a friend. AP"

"Why did Snow White go to bed? She was feeling Sleepy."

"I hate reddit because... ...you cannot take a joke!"

"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer."