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Joke of the Day

"Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator? He didn't want to see the salad dressing."

"You've got to hand it to blind prostitutes."

"Thank you, baby Jesus for helping my favorite sports team instead of saving people from a tsunami. You must really love baseball."

"John Lennon: Imagine all the people Me: Ok but this is extremely boring"

"What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung? The guardians of the galaxy!"

"Always trust your dog's first impression of someone."

"How do you get teh bee off the toilet? You piss it off."

"Did you hear about the guy who won the Nobel for inventing time travel to the future? He was ahead of his time."

"Whenever someone mentions rat poison part of me imagines a tiny rodent cover band playing 80s power ballads."

"Why will people click on any link with sperm or eggs in the headline? Hey, sex cells."