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Joke of the Day

"I am not an alcoholic An alcoholic needs a drink, I have a drink."

"To my future kids: I apologize for the lack of college funds... Blame mom, she INSISTED on organic produce from Whole Foods."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over ? Me: You wanted to watch me lick my ice cream cone ? Cop: Just go please"

"Wanna hear a joke about the mods? [deleted]"

"Did you heard about the elephant that was a hoarder? He had a lot of junk in the trunk. Come on, be easy on me, I made that up myself while staring at elephants at the zoo yesterday."

"After the man was named bishop by the church, what was his next move? Diagonal"

"You better hope you marry rich."

"I wanted to tell you all about a color I made up..... but, as it turns out, it was just a pigment of my imagination."

"You can even hide a dead body in Terms & Conditions, No one will ever know."

"How many feminists does it takes to change a lightbulb? One. ###And it's NOT funny!!!"