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Joke of the Day

"[airport security] *BEEP* Ma'am, step through again *BEEP* Nice try pal, I'm not removing my Slayer shirt Ma'am, please it's too much metal"

"I saw Don Draper driving a toupee across a high-wire. Another character driven piece on cable."

"I would tell you a good cheesy joke, But I lactase"

"The only relative I want to see at my door is Papa John."

"Sex is like cookies... ...gotta ask for consent first."

"Women who like facials must be a myth. At least, I've never cum across one."

"I've been sneaking clay, sand and mortar into my housemate's food... When they find out they'll shit bricks."

"There should be a documentary about meth addiction: Need For Speed"

"Its better to remain silent and let people think you a fool... ...than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"Kind Donation Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water"