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Joke of the Day

"Its better to remain silent and let people think you a fool... ...than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"Why is a schoolhouse red? You would be too if you had 7 periods a day."

"It was so cold out today I actually saw a few gangsters with their pants pulled up."

"Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential."

"My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits."

"My dad is 100% Swedish and this was his favorite joke to tell waitresses when we went out to eat. Waitress: Are you all finished? Dad: No, I'm not Finnish, I'm Swedish."

"Prisons and psych wards in movies always make it seem like an indignity, but I think it'd be nice to receive food through a slot in my door."

"What goes after foursome? Awesome..."

"Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? No? Well that's because it never came out"

"I dropped two bucks yesterday... Third one got away."