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Joke of the Day
"I saw Don Draper driving a toupee across a high-wire. Another character driven piece on cable."
Next Joke
"What's the best part about bangin' twenty six year olds? You get to meet Jared Fogel."
"What is a wok? Something you throw at wabbits when you haven't got your wifle."
"Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon."
"don't regret doing things, regret getting caught"
"Me: congrats! Are you pregnant? Her: (awkwardly) Noooo... Me: *panics* do you wanna be? -great save- thanks brain"
"A kid is playing with his Testicles, while his mom baths him... ""Mommy is this my brain?"" ""Not yet sweetheart, not yet"""
"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"
"I love the smell of my F5 key... It's just so refreshing!"
"Just bought a Subaru & it came with wet rescue dog nose marks on the windows, some pot & Whole Foods environmentally friendly shopping bags."